After the whole wedding celebration, you will finally have some time alone with your now-spouse. Entering this new marriage, the two of you will share another remarkable moment known as your wedding night. Sure, the first night as husband and wife is usually being portrayed as an intimate, sensual, even a passionate episode, but what if you’re anxious about it? Not only the sexual novice brides, couple with past experiences might also feel some anxiety or nervousness regarding this topic. So, how to make sure the two of you have a smooth and memorable first night together? Remember these simple guidelines:

Do: Prepare yourself

In order to be prepared, you have to start listening to your body. Find out what attracts you sexually, what you can’t tolerate, or what makes you excited. Get to know yourself intimately first, the same goes for the groom as well. That way, later you and your spouse can help each other navigate through the process without having self-doubts. You can also prepare a pretty lingerie set, sultry perfumes, or indulge in a beauty treatment to help you set the mood and boost your confidence. Make sure you only wear things you’re comfortable with.

Don’t: Have overly high expectations

You might have read, seen, or fantasized about a super romantic and passionate wedding night scene, with flower petals all over your bed and candlelight, topped with a super-satisfactory performance from both husband and wife. But in reality, that’s not always the case. To save you from disappointment, keep the expectation in a realistic level. It’s okay not to have the perfect, movie-like sexual experience for the first time, because now the two of you have a lifetime to figure out how to please each other in the bedroom.

Do: Take it slow and be patient

It’s totally normal if you feel tired after all the wedding celebration and remember that you are not obliged to have sex immediately after. Take some time to unwind and rest so you can gain the stamina to enjoy an intimate moment with your spouse later. When the time comes, don’t rush to the main game plan and be done with it. Play with each other, take time to understand each other’s needs and wants, and go through each step from foreplay to the end, patiently.

Don’t: Panic

Being anxious and all, you might feel a rush of panic attack on your wedding night. But being panic wouldn’t make it better, in fact it would only make it worse. If you’re really nervous about how to act and react in bed, how to conquer your fear about the pain, want to overcome a past sexual trauma, or simply shy and embarrassed about the whole thing, you might want to consider getting a professional help before the wedding day. Share these anxieties with a specialized counselor or therapist, so you would have someone to guide you on this path.

Do: Communicate with each other

In order to make things clear and put the two of you on the same page, communicate about one another’s wants and needs. As this is the first time, you might need to help each other understand the situation, what do you want and don’t want, or set the boundaries. Tell each other when it hurts and when it feels good. Sex is all about giving and taking, so it is important for the two of you to compromise and meet each other halfway. After completing the first night, you should also talk openly about your feelings, share the experience or even ideas on new things to try together.

Don’t: Lie

This should be the time when the two of you be as transparent as ever with each other. So, there’s no need to lie about your past experience or not telling the truth when you’re not feeling comfortable with something that he did. Also, it’s one thing to want him to feel good, but don’t fake your satisfaction along the way. Be kind and truthful, hopefully if there’s any need for improvement the two of you can work on it and find your rhythm together.

Do: Make each other comfortable and relaxed

A couple should equally enjoy their wedding night together, so refrain from forcing your fantasy unto your spouse if they don’t feel comfortable about it. To get rid of the anxieties, take some time to be relaxed. Share a hot tub together, give back rubs, or fulfill your hunger with your favorite comfort foods. Proceed only when the two of you are ready. It’s also a scientific fact that it a first-time sex will be less painful when your body is not tensed and relaxed.

Don’t: Overanalyze

When you’re overanalyzing the situation; thinking about what could go wrong, the embarrassing stuff that could happen, or thinking about how good your performance was afterward, you’ll get stressed out! Nothing could ruin a fun honeymoon period as stress. So, go with the flow and take it easy. If there’s something unexpected happened, just laugh it off together. Get to know each other a bit better by each day and don’t let a simple mistake rain on your happy parade.

Do: Try Again

We all know that practice makes perfect. So, don’t worry if the first attempt wasn’t going so well, you can always try again. Learn from the mistakes and try to find a sexual pattern that suits you and your spouse better. What works for other couples may not work for you, and vice versa.

Don’t: Be too drunk

It is a moment to celebrate and you might want to indulge in a toast of champagne. But if you want to have a smooth wedding night, don’t be too wasted in your wedding party. Drunk sex is not pretty and you might even not remember about it the next day!

Do: Cherish every moment

At the end of the day, this is a very special time. Yes, sex is exciting and important but don’t be too focused on just that. Rebuild the connection between you and your now-spouse and remember why you married him in the first place. Then followed by those physical deeds to deepen that bond and love. Cherish every second in your wedding night, both the good and bad times. Let it be an intimate experience you share together for the rest of your life.

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